02/04/23: Modern Model S
Everything my car wanted to be, but just couldn't.
The journey of a 2014 Model S 85
Everything my car wanted to be, but just couldn't.
Place your bets - something's going to break soon.
Officially old and busted. Now it gets expensive.
AI does not see your hands on the wheel. Raising rates 27%.
Finally! Opening any door will be hassle-free as advertised!
The Tesla Check Engine Light has photobombed my day. Again.
Model S: expensive, but hey look - free door handle problems for life!
Warranty expires in a few months, so get ready for it to fall apart.
My decade-old iPod works more reliably than this, Elon.
When all your neighbors' Teslas are shinier than yours.
At last - stepping into your car with dignity. A human right.
Tesla's famously-undisputed Reliability & Excellence. Sorta.
The car of The Future and a screen that's like Fry's Electronics quality.
Extra spicy Superchargers needed at every place serving pad kaprao.
The sci-fi cyber future is taking shape. TSLA to the moon.
Planned obsolescence? The Model S Achilles' heel.
Nimbler, faster, stronger, cheaper - everything my car is not.
Panel Gaps are probably a $9000 option in the configurator.
It's not quite the Big Gulp experience that I used to get.
The 21st century car. On the back of a 20th century truck.
I'm sure SpaceX technology is waaaaaaay more robust.
The good 'ol days of driving are up ahead with Autopilot and FSD.
Buckle up back there, they're going into ... hyperactive.
If only my car could transform into this via software update.
When your electric motor is trying to do Tron once more.
With MCU2 you get more freshness goodness hotness.
It's almost as if the car has full power once again.
122,181 on the odometer, smooth sailing, more (s)miles ahead.
The who/what/where, when you click on something.
Well ... at least it's not the high-voltage pack, right?
$2500 (plus tax) later it's like touching the future again.
Soon. The repair bill for the infamous Black Screen of Death.
A new kind of wear and tear - the limited lifespan of the eMMC.
The Tesla Panel Gap Tolerance, achievement unlocked.
California charging costs when cutting corners on commuting.
Is that your car talking to the cloud again, Bro?
Keeping this aging car up with the newer Joneses. A little.
Freeway social distancing over Memorial Day weekend.
Time for a road trip ... around the block at least.
At last, some good news during a worldwide pandemic.
Think regen eliminates the need for brake replacements? Psssh...
Making an old car feel (somewhat) new again.
Gentler torque, and other random driving updates.
Santa delivers a small update right before Christmas.
Almost 112k miles later and still smooth as silk.
Interior rattles and squeaks - it's not the sound of silence.
The only time you're number one 6 times in a row.
Vegas, new Superchargers and the Car Hacking Village.
From Generation 2 to (sorta) 3. Mobile Service to the rescue.
Out of warranty. True Model S owners must embrace the DIY.
From Southern California and up the edge of the Pacific Ocean.
Through West Texas, into the land of cacti, and onto Joshua Tree.
Cornfields, then suddenly it's barbecue everywhere.
Look in any direction and either a tree or photogenic hill stares back.
Bon voyage towards the Great American Landscape.
When your rear lights do a burnout. Heh. Get it?
I wag my tail when getting scraps at update table.
Adding more S3XY into an older Classic Model S.
6,336,000,000 inches (16,093,440,000 cm) later...
Navigating without ultrasonic sensors is hard. Halp.
Newer is better. Your older sucks. Feeeeeel the envy.
Weather forecast calls for practical shoes before you crash.
The ownership experience covered under sub-light speeds.
My S85 really, really sucks now. Thanks a lot, Elon. Appreciate it.
Cleaning is never done because there's always tomorrow.
The car has to look impressive on the center touchscreen too.
Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.
Rusty hats? What rusty hats are you talking about? Psssh....
When repairs are delivered to your doorstep like pizza.
If only I had been going 88 mph as the odometer hit the number.
Queue up the Star Trek fight music and unbeatable Kirk-fu.
Where a Tesla cannot ninja through in stealth mode.
Version 8.1 (2018.21.9 75bdbc11) is here to assist. All the time.
More destination charging and some Supercharger news.
Because we all need a new torque wrench and floor jack.
Feeling charged up about this. Electrified. Okay, I'll stop now.
If you're going to drive into the future, do it in style.
Scenic drives away from the Silicon Valley noise.
More Abstract Ocean DIY touches to enhance Big Blue.
The bargain basement alternative for enhanced interior bling.
Porsches are quick, fun, but loud. Is that Mission E out yet?
Cha-ching. Now rolling to the set of eights.
Paid $400 for snow chains, didn't need them. RWD FTW.
Well ... isn't 4 out of 5 better than nothing?
Warrior through an asteroid field, admire your battle scars.
Trading a Model S for a Caddy. Such a sweet deal. Except...
Battery on its last drop of coffee. Need another cup NOW.
Supercharger map knows what's best for well-being. Obey.
That rust just doesn't go with the color scheme.
Because having two shiny armor platings is better than one.
I have Autopilot 2.0 envy, but mine still works better.
Better than those useless things under the tree.
Escaping home-charging poverty and the electric ghetto.
The tail lights can also be an aquarium - just add guppies.
Get ready for things to break soon. It is inevitable.
Wear items not covered under warranty. You buy now.
That over yonder looks like electricity in the air.
The low-bandwidth dial-up connection for electrons.
Already past 36k. Time rolls by fast. (See what I did there?)
Electric motors are super reliable. Except for this thing.
New digital toys keep trickling in. Christmas comes often.
Yeah, yeah ... it's my fault if I crash into a wall. Let's do this.
Main computer out? Where's that manual override...
All your driving are now belong to us, human.
This likely does not qualify as Supercharging.
Script kiddies, they are coming. nmap --script all.the.things.
Almost like recharging your speeder on Tatooine.
Get broken handle fixed, go drive a Roadster Sport. Wheeee.
The elusive bin accessory. A $600 bargain. If you ever get one.
Do you hear that? That's the sound of Free-dom on Electric Avenue.
History made @18:43 PST.
Not just cruise control ... it's traffic-aware cruise control.
Need noise-cancelling headphones for these rattles.
Lesson learned: apply PPF everywhere FTW.
Ripples in the Blue Metallic space time continuum.
Not even at 174 miles yet. Scotty, need auxiliary power.
It's one thing to wash a car ... it's something else to keep it clean.
You can unlock the door with the key in your pocket? That's cute.
If getting a new car is wrong, I don't ever want to be right.
White, Silver, Red, Grey, Brown, Black, Black, or Black.
The sound you hear is the bank account protesting.
Better than Princess Vespa's 2001 Mercedes SEL Limited Edition.
Still looking for the hidden Warp Speed switch.